Chapter Text
Balancing one’s professional and private life is integral for keeping your life overall in balance , the email had said.
Fox had immediately marked it as spam and deleted it from his inbox.
There was no work-life balance for him, as his whole life was work. That was the whole reason for his existence. He ate during his work hours, showered during his work hours, slept during his work hours. There was not a single minute, a single second in a day he wasn’t at work. His shifts never truly ended. If he was needed for anything, even in the middle of the night, he had to get up and go deal with it. There was no other option.
He had not been given another option.
If Fox had not gotten to eat for eight hours before being called to deal with another thing? That was Fox’s problem, and no one else’s. The same thing applied to sleep, to injuries, to being sick. They were all Fox’s problems, and he needed to fix them or just deal with them by himself.
Just like all of those things, he needed to deal with this by himself as well.
“I could go”, Thorn tried, one more time.
“No”, Fox said, one last time.
Thorn crossed his arms and grumbled.
“That’s not going to get you anywhere”, Fox said. “You pouting does not change the fact that I am quite literally the only Commander currently capable of leaving the planet.”
It was quite literally the first time this had happened. Usually, Fox would find another solution. Break up the escorted party, so they wouldn’t require a Commander to accompany them. Stall the mission until there was a Commander available. Reschedule absolutely everything, so they could run their usual missions with one less Commander on planet. Borrow a Commander for the escort mission from another battalion entirely. Thankfully, that last one he had only had to do once.
This time, though, none of those options were available for him.
Things had somehow ended up stacking, one after the other. There were other escort missions ongoing already, which had taken away many of his Captains. There had been a break-in into the Senate Dome, which had led to the amount of security being increased there momentarily, thus taking away his men from other missions. They had just had a small breakout from a viral infection from the lower levels, which had downed a good portion of the squads that usually ran the operations down there, which meant that a lot of still available higher-ranking Guards had to be allocated to take care of them in the meanwhile.
Thire was already away on a mission with the Jedi. Stone had gotten the infection and was still on desk-duty only. Thorn had already taken upon himself to run the operations on the lower levels, and couldn’t be posted in the Headquarters at the same time. Fox’s position as the Commander of the Guard meant that if he was on the planet, he needed to take care of both the administrative side and whatever physical jobs there were that required a Commander. Neither Stone nor Thorn had that same requirement, and could split duties between them. Thorn wouldn’t have to take all of Fox’s duties on himself, and Stone could have the time to heal properly.
So, all in all, that left Fox as the only option.
“That doesn’t mean I have to like it”, Thorn said. “You need a break , not to be stuck inside a ship with Senators for over a week.”
There had been a headache brewing somewhere behind Fox’s right eye for some time now, and this was not making it any better.
“As if I’m not already stuck with the Senators every single day”, he said. “At least now I won’t have to think about flimsiwork for a whole week. Sounds like a break to me.”
He understood Thorn being worried about him. Fox wasn’t going to deny that he needed a break. He very much did.
There were just no breaks for Commander Fox.
So he was going to take the next best thing.
Which, unfortunately, happened to be this.
Thorn huffed, leaning back on his chair so hard that it creaked rather loudly.
“I still don’t like it”, he said. He sounded almost petulant in a way, which was a tone Fox had never heard him use before. Thorn had a more carefree side he used when he was with his brothers, but this was new even for him.
It was definitely making Fox’s headache worse.
“Why are you so against it?” He asked. “Like I said, it’s not so different from what my days usually are, and this time, I don’t have to manage the whole Guard at the same time. I won’t even have to see the Chancellor for a whole week. That is, in fact, less work for me than usual.”
Thorn shrugged.
“I just don’t like it. And I am going to hold you up on working less, since it was you yourself who said it”, he said. He hadn’t given an actual reason, but Fox didn’t have the time to press on it any more than he had already.
“None of us like any of this”, he said, standing up. “It is our duty, though, and there is no escaping it. Even less for some of us.”
Thorn had the decency to stop pouting at that. He still sighed heavily, though, as he stood up as well.
“Someday I’m going to take over and put you to involuntary rest”, he said, following Fox to the door. “You’re so stressed it’s starting to smell.”
Fox rolled his eyes.
“If I were you, I wouldn’t trust my nose in the slightest”, he said. “ I have smelled your boots, and you argued back that it wasn’t that bad.”
“It wasn’t!” Thorn had the audacity to sound offended. “Was it?”
Fox decided to let silence be the answer to that question.
— — —
The first time someone had told Fox that he smelled like something, it had been Wolffe.
“You smell weird”, he had said one morning, out of absolutely nowhere, just staring at Fox with a deep frown on his face.
They had been just cadets then, with tiny bodies and pudgy fingers that didn’t quite properly go around the triggers of their training blasters yet.
Fox had started training with them just a few months before, and they had started to get quite close by then. They had all stopped commenting on his smaller stature and on the fact that he was a bit younger than the rest of them, at least for the most part, and hearing something like that coming out of Wolffe’s mouth had deeply confused Fox then.
“What are you, a massiff?” He had asked back, trying to figure out if this was a new way of picking on each other. He had pushed down the urge to slightly sniff himself, just to make sure that he didn’t actually smell.
Wolffe had not answered to the easy bait of his words. He had just continued to stare at him, and soon the rest of them had joined in said staring.
“He’s right”, Bly had said, frowning as well. “You do smell weird.”
Cody had smacked both of them on the head.
“That’s not nice”, Ponds had said, though Fox had not been sure if he had meant the words or the hitting. He had still been frowning a little bit, as well, when he had looked at Fox.
Seventeen had walked in before they had been able to say anything more. He had taken one look at the rest of them staring at Fox, and had then turned to stare at Fox as well. Fox had really had to resist sniffing himself at that point.
There had been a strange look on Seventeen’s face, one that Fox had later understood as a mixture of unfamiliar pity and familiar anger, though only one of them had been aimed towards him.
“You. Follow me”, he had said, and for the first time ever, he had allowed Fox to hold his hand while they walked from their room to the medbay.
Seventeen had still held Fox’s hand as the giant needle had been stuck into his body.
— — —
The Guard was supposed to accompany officers on military duties.
Senators were not supposed to be included in the 'officers' category.
They hadn't been, actually, at the start of the war, but things had changed recently. One or two Senators didn’t require the Guard to be sent with them, unless they asked for it and somehow managed to get their request through in time.
More than that? That was now considered a military operation, as all the Senators that represented Republic worlds on diplomatic missions were now Republic officials and thus needed to be treated as such. Some had argued that it made voyages that were necessary for peace possible, with the increased hostilities all around the Galaxy. Others argued that it just further militarised all aspects of the Republic and made them look even more like warmongers.
What it actually did was increase the Guards and especially Fox’s workload.
They needed to keep track of all the Senators and whoever was with them, communicate with all the other security, secure their routes and the destination, and be prepared to face conflicts in space on a vessel that was very much not designed for military use. On top of that, most of the Senators inside said vessel were, for the lack of a better word, dicks.
Still, all in all, Fox had meant every word he had said to Thorn. Well, at least the part of not having to do flimsiwork on top of everything else. He had taken his datapad with him, so he could do maybe some work during the night cycles, but thankfully, he didn’t have the room to drag the rest of his work with him, so there was already a limitation on what he could do. Fox quite welcomed the thought of perhaps getting even some downtime to himself. This was him getting to take a break. At least somewhat.
Fox understood why Thorn was worried. He had arguably not been feeling…the best lately. Nothing too concerning, just more headaches here and there, a few more nights he would spend up tossing around instead of sleeping and then feeling tired the next day, and just an overall bothersome feeling, that reminded him of all the times his body had protested the absurd amount of caf he had drank during the longest days.
A quick holonet search had told him that they were likely symptoms of stress, but in that case, there was very little Fox could do, other than to simply deal with it. Getting away from Coruscant, even if he was surrounded by Senators? That was the closest thing to a vacation that he would ever get.
Even if most of the Senators were dicks.
Fox glanced at the manifest again. Senator Looray had just gotten on, almost late like most of the time, so that should’ve been all-
“Commander”, a voice spoke a few steps behind him. “I wasn’t aware that you were joining us on this mission.”
Fox turned around.
Senator Organa was smiling at him. He was dressed in what clearly looked to be travelling clothes, with simple pants and a jacket and a thicker cloak drawn over his shoulders. He had a few Royal Guards trailing behind him, and a couple of aides carrying some luggage.
Fox raised his brow. Not that the Senator could see it.
“I could say the same to you, Senator Organa”, he said. “You don’t appear to be in the manifest.”
“Ah, of course”, Senator Organa said, slipping his hand into one of his pockets and pulling out a datadisc. “I was asked to join the mission at the last minute by Duke Emeliett of the Malii’an, as he is part of the Court that will be meeting with the delegation on Malina’an. He’s an old friend of my parents, and thought it would be for the best if I was on this mission.”
He switched the disc on, showing a signed invitation from the Duke, and the clearance for him to join the rest of the Senators.
“I understand”, Fox said. “I assume then that you have your accommodations secured on the vessel?”
Senator Organa smiled a little more.
“Everything has been just cleared with the Captain”, he said. “Thank you for asking, Commander. I apologise for giving you even more work.”
“It’s not work”, Fox said, before he could even think about saying anything. He snapped his mouth shut immediately, feeling somewhat embarrassed. What was that? He had never been the one to blurt out things involuntarily, especially not something nonsensical.
Senator Organa just looked at him patiently. Fox swallowed, and tried again.
“As I was saying”, he said, and refrained from cringing, “it’s not more work. I’ll update the rest of the Guards on this mission about your inclusion.”
Senator Organa nodded.
“Thank you, Commander Fox”, he said, still smiling, and Fox tried his best not to have any reaction to the combination of said smile and his name being said.
Senator Organa was…Fox wasn’t sure if it was proper for him to call him a friend, but they were friendly. Senator Organa had always treated the Guard and the rest of the clones with kindness and respect. Fox had gotten to talk with him a couple of months into the war, and that had, apparently, made Fox approachable. They now talked whenever they saw each other and had the time, and Fox had been invited for a cup of caf a few times.
He had accepted, out of…respect. Because it was good manners.
Not because Fox had some sort of stupid, juvenile crush.
Fox was pretty sure he wasn’t even allowed to have crushes. It was unprofessional to mix personal matters with his work, and Fox was always at work. Having any sort of deeper relationship with a regular citizen would’ve been misusing his time on duty. One with a Senator? Absolutely not.
So, Fox did not have any reaction. If Senator Organa looked at him a bit more…intently, for a split second, as he just did, there was nothing for him to see there.
Fox nodded his head.
“Move along then, please”, he said, gesturing towards the ship. “I hope you’ll have a pleasant trip.”
“Same to you”, Senator Organa said, and then walked past him, his guards and aides following him.
Fox sighed deeply after they were gone. He shouldn’t be feeling like this. He was just a clone. He had no business harboring anything towards a Senator.
Especially one that was already married. Senator Organa talked about his wife, the Queen of Alderaan, often, and his words were always laced with praise and warm love. Her Majesty seemed to have the affection of all of her people that Fox had met, and every word Fox had read of her on the holonet was similarly filled with only love and admiration. The Queen was, by all accords, a kind, wise, and beautiful woman.
A perfect match for Senator Organa.
What would she think of Fox, if she found out that he was looking at her husband a bit too long, and enjoyed all of his words and smiles a bit too much? No, no. Fox had not even met her, and he already loathed the idea of her knowing and being disappointed in Fox’s inability to be professional and act like a good clone should.
So, no. Fox did not, in fact, have any sort of crush on Senator Organa.
Still…Fox could be happy about him being on this mission. It would even out the ratio of Senators who were dicks and ones that weren’t on board. Like said, Senator Organa was nice to them all. It was good to have an ally with them. Always made things easier.
Yes, that was an acceptable line of thinking.
There was a thin line of sweat running down Fox’s back. Fox tugged at the collar of his blacks. The armor was stuffy during most days, and the sun was shining rather sharply for Coruscant that day. Fox tended to run cold, but he still didn’t appreciate being sticky.
He shook his head, and went to meet with his Captains for the last rundown for the security. He cleared his throat a bit as he walked, as it had suddenly turned a bit dry in the heat. He needed to grab a drink once they got on board.
Saga and Hollie had already gathered all of the data and ran it through the systems by the time Fox got to them.
“Everything looks to be in order”, Hollie told him. “The men have checked the ship and are seeing the Senators and their companies to their accommodations. We’re ready to launch once you’re ready.”
“Good”, Fox said, clearing his throat again. He did it a bit louder than he meant to, making both his Captains look towards him for a moment longer.
“Sir?” Saga asked. “Is…everything alright?”
There was an odd tone in his voice, like he was suddenly a bit cautious.
“Yes”, Fox answered. He smacked his lips slightly. They were also a bit tacky. “It’s just a little warm today.”
There was a beat of silence. Hollie continued to look at him, while Saga quickly glanced up, before he seemingly caught himself doing so and snapped his head back down.
“If you say so, Sir”, he hurried to say. “Should we go then?”
Fox looked at the time. They should, unless they wanted to be truly late from the schedule.
He pushed away whatever had just happened from his mind, and turned towards the ship.
At least it would be cool in space.
— — —
The ship had a very good heating system.
It was a funny thing, that for the one time Fox wanted to not be so warm, everything went out of its way to do the exact opposite.
He shouldn’t complain. He finally got to be warm, didn’t he? Look for the silver linings, as some of the nat-borns said.
Still, Fox was very much starting to wish for a turn in the sonic by the time the ship had made its jump to hyperspace. Thankfully the blacks and the armor were at least somewhat insulated, so he wouldn’t start to smell to others straight away.
Saga and Hollie were walking a couple of steps behind him as they made their way to the deck. The Captain of the ship had wanted to speak with Fox after the jump, to discuss some of the more intricate details of the ships defense.
The Aureliolus was not an old ship, if compared to some other similar type of vessels used in the Republic, but it was still decidedly built before the war. It had, thankfully, gone through some renovations and additions after the war had started, by the behest of the Captain. He had already earned some respect from Fox for that. Many others had refused to do any sort of upgrades to their ships, because they thought it made them look garish or otherwise less luxurious, which would make them lose money, as if luxury excursions were already not down because of the war.
Fox had already received the full prints of the ships and the upgrades, but he did agree with the Captain that discussing them further would be beneficial, as it would give them both a better picture of how to proceed if anything happened. The Guard would, of course, proceed as was the protocol, but Fox wanted to be sure.
The Captain had been looking at something on the control panels, but lifted his head up the moment Fox stepped inside.
“Commander”, he nodded his head at Fox. He wasn’t exactly smiling, but his expression was open and his voice inviting as he spoke. It was a good sign as well. Things would be a lot easier if the person in charge was cooperative.
Fox had looked the man up before stepping into the ship. Captain Delesi, 48 years old, had worked as a pilot for years for his homeworld's biggest shipping company before making the jump to work for private customers, which had eventually landed him to work for the company that owned the Aureliolus . He had a lot of experience under his belt, just from the variety of places he had worked in, which Fox assumed had been the reason the owners had agreed on upgrading the vessel when he had asked. Well, that move had paid them off, since they were currently flying a bunch of extremely rich people around during the time no one wanted to step even an inch too close to the front lines.
“Captain”, Fox greeted him back. “There were details you wished to go over with me?”
“Yes, I did”, Delesi said, gesturing towards the command table and stepping closer to him, as if he wanted to guide Fox closer. That was a new one. Usually the Senators, apart from a few exceptions, didn’t want to touch them too much. But then again, Delesi was not a Senator, but-
Delesi stopped on his tracks. Hollie had also stepped closer to Fox, and was now halfway between him and Delesi, essentially blocking him from reaching for Fox.
Fox stopped. Hollie stopped.
Delesi dropped his arm that he had lifted to reach towards Fox. He looked at Fox for a second more, before there seemed to be some sort of… recognition on his face, followed by a flicker of what looked like surprise.
“Apologies”, he said. He still sounded pleasant enough, but he did immediately step back considerably, clearly to put some distance between them. He didn’t even try to hide it. “Now, let’s just go through all of this, I will put on the statistics and plans from here, and then you can return to your quarters as well.”
Fox simply nodded. He did not claim to understand what went through the heads of most nat-borns, and he was not going to even try and entertain whatever it was that had made the Captain jump from being comfortable with him to not.
Hollie was still standing between him and Delesi, even though the latter was now further away. Fox tapped him on the vambrace. That did make Hollie startle a little, and he quickly moved back slightly behind Fox. He did stay close, though, as did Saga, who Fox saw from the corner of his eye kept glancing at everyone else moving around on the deck. Everyone seemed to be keeping their distance, as well, though that wasn’t a new thing at all.
Delesi did most of the talking, from the other side of the command table, which Fox was thankful for, as his mouth was also now very dry and overall tacky, his tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth constantly. He really, really needed that drink. The thought of that almost distracted him for a moment, and he had to quickly pinch himself between his vambrace and elbow guard in order to focus.
You have been made to withstand anything and everything, he told himself as he focused back onto the command table. You can stand thirst for fifteen minutes more.
Delesi didn’t even take fifteen minutes. Instead, at some point he looked up at Fox, smiled, and straightened up.
“I think this is all for tonight”, he said. “We have all the emergency procedures down, and we are still very securely on the Core territory. I don’t wish to hold you up any longer than necessary. I’ll see you later in the main hall for dinner, Commander.”
Fox blinked. The words for this is my work, this is necessary and something about them needing to receive their rations in their quarters by protocol were already on his tongue, but he swallowed them before they had the chance to come out. Perhaps the Captain had other engagements he needed to take care of. Fox wasn’t the one to argue with him when there wasn’t any hostilities or other emergencies happening.
So he only nodded his head.
“Very well”, he said. “I’ll see you later, Captain.”
Everyone still kept their distance as they walked out. Saga and Hollie kept their pace, walking almost at Fox’s elbows.
“Move back a little”, Fox said, once they were back in the hallway.
Both of them almost jumped back.
“Sorry, Commander”, Saga said. “I just…”
He trailed off, sounding unsure. Then he just shrugged.
“Sorry, Commander”, he repeated.
“Just keep up with the usual conduct”, Fox said. “No need for crowding when the situation is calm.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Good.” Fox cleared his throat. Maybe he should’ve told the Captain to bring the temperature down a little…
“Do you need water, Sir?” Hollie asked. “I have hydropacks with me, if you need it.”
He was already reaching for his belt as he spoke. Fox waved his hand.
“I have my own with our equipment”, he said. “I’ll take one in our quarters. Thank you.”
Hollie dropped his hand, almost hesitantly.
“Sir”, he said, and then hastily straightened his back.
Fox raised his brow under his helmet, but there was a group of aides turning from another hallway to walk ahead of them, so he didn’t say anything.
It was probably just nerves, anyway. It had been a while since any of them had been to space.
Fox rolled his shoulders a bit, not being quite able to ignore the way his blacks stuck a little to his skin.
He really needed that sonic. First water, then sonic. If he was required to stand around during dinner, he was not going to do it in sweaty blacks.
First water, then sonic, and they would all calm down a little for the rest of the journey.
— — —
They had bottled water in their quarters.
Fox had been pretty much handed one the moment he had stepped in, and after a minute of Pinch assuring him that it was free and that they were allowed to drink it because the message from the Captain said so, Fox had pretty much downed the entire bottle in one go. He then immediately felt bad about it, which pretty much launched Pinch to another round of assurances, this time about how they definitely had more than enough bottles for everyone.
Good. It had been good water, crisp and somehow tasting cleaner than the water they had in their hydropacks.
The label had read Kathou Mountain Spring Water. People from there must’ve everything right in their lives, if they got to drink that every day. Fox believed firmly that at least twenty percent of his problems could be solved if he didn’t have to drink Coruscant tap water.
He had also been very quickly ushered to the bathroom, with Saga and Hollie promising that they would begin briefing everyone on what the Captain had said. Fox had squinted his eyes a bit at their insistence. He had wanted to take a sonic, true, but he wasn’t that sweaty.
But he was sweaty enough to ignore it and lock himself into the sonic.
It was nice. A lot nicer than the few they had at the Guard base. The Aureliolus had water showers as well, Fox had read so from the ship’s assets, but they were for the actual guest rooms, not for the quarters used for infantry as they were. The Guard base actually had more water showers than sonics, but then again, the water that came out from the showers was very much filtered and had chemicals dumped in it that made all the Shinies slightly itchy during their first weeks on the post.
Still, Fox had kinda missed the water, because the sonic didn’t really do anything to alleviate the headache that had started to build again, just behind his right eye. Fox had tried to massage his temples, his jaw and his shoulders, but none of those had helped much. Well, it wasn’t like he didn’t have some sort of headache every single day of his life, wasn’t it? He could deal with it.
At least he didn’t have to deal with the Chancellor this time around, with his perpetual headache. He was Thorn’s problem for the time being.
That was the one thing Fox truly felt guilty saddling Thorn with.
The sonic had turned off, and Fox had been greeted with a neatly folded fresh pair of blacks right outside the door, along with another bottle of water. Alright. Something had got to be going on.
Fox still thought that as he now sat between Saga and Avec, in his fresh blacks and sipping on more water. He knew that there was a sentiment among the Guard that Fox needed to somehow be taken care of , as he had to essentially fill the role of both the clone Commander and acting General when it came to working on the field. Most of the time it was others telling him to sleep, to eat, to go to the medical just in case, things like that. Casual physical contact and other acts of caretaking beyond that were usually left for the medics and to Thorn, Stone and Thire. From them, Fox would’ve expected something like this.
He should’ve said something. Maybe acted a bit more…Commandery. Even though this was the closest thing he got to a break, he was still on duty. He should’ve gotten back into his armor the moment he got out of the sonic, not to continue lounging around. He should’ve been able to wait until the allocated shift hours were done, at the very least, to even get out of his armor to begin with.
He should be better than this. He was still on duty.
Avec leaned a bit closer to him, knocking their shoulders gently together. He had taken off some of his upper armor, so it was his bare arm touching Fox’s.
It was nice.
Fox took another sip of water, and looked around the room. Everybody seemed relaxed enough. The ship was sailing calmly through the hyperspace. They were still in the Core territory. Fox knew their route and the calculations. They would exit the Core in the morning hours. The route had been planned and calculated carefully to avoid any sort of hostilities on the way.
The chances of something happening right now were very minimal.
Fox could put his armor on in under three minutes.
The chances of something happening in under three minutes were also very minimal.
But there were still chances of-
Avec leaned against him a bit more. His arm pressed against Fox’s, the warmth of his skin reaching through two layers of blacks onto Fox’s.
It was nice.
He had looked forward to having some downtime, hadn’t he?
He could afford…a few more minutes, all things considered.
Fox leaned slightly against Avec, and took another sip of water.
Just a few more minutes.
Thorn would at least get what he wanted.
— — —
Captain Delesi sent Fox a message about arriving at the dinner hall at 18:00 of Coruscant time.
Remind peered over Fox's shoulder to read the message, before Fox could turn his comlink away.
“You need to eat”, he said, frowning at the text. “Are they going to feed you there, or are they going to just have you standing around?”
He sounded almost angry when he said it. Fox turned to look at him, which, after a couple of seconds of a delay, got Remind to back off.
“I have no idea”, Fox said. “If it’s the latter, I hope they have other forms of security in place, since the message is only for me. You have your food brought here?”
Apparently, they were getting actual food on top of their rations. Fox had no idea who was paying for any of it.
Remind shrugged.
“Yes, I guess”, he said. “We’ll hold some for you, in case they don’t give you anything.”
He still sounded tense, and was even standing with his shoulders rigid and his jaw set.
“I’ve gone without food for longer periods of time”, Fox reminded him. “I’ll be fine for a couple of hours more.”
Remind didn’t look any less tense. Fox looked at the time. He didn’t have time for this.
“I’ll be back”, he said. “Do not break anything while I’m gone. Our budget is already tight.”
“Yes, Sir.” At least Remind managed to say that without grumpling too much.
Fox looked at himself over in the mirror, before he grabbed his helmet and put it on. He had cleaned his armor yesterday, and had taken some time to make sure it was spotless again just now. He was the head of the Guard, and needed to represent them at all times. That included looking as presentable as possible in the presence of people above them.
He could feel multiple pairs of eyes on his back as he made his way out of their quarters.
Fox couldn’t really blame any of them for being wary of most nat-borns. Fox himself was wary of most of them, and for a reason. Most of them didn’t like the clones, for one reason or another. Maybe they hated having to be reminded of the war constantly. Maybe they hated that the Guard was policing them around. Maybe they hated them for costing money. Maybe they hated them for not being real people.
There were exceptions, of course, and Fox was grateful for all of them, especially-
No, nope. Do not even go there. Senator Organa respects you, do not disrespect him with your thoughts.
Fox tugged at the collar of his blacks. The ship was burning so many credits with keeping it this warm. He was already starting to feel like he had never even taken that sonic.
Would be nice to have that kind of money to heat the barracks and the base.
The Aureliolus was not a large ship by any means, at least when it came to its intended use. The full passenger capacity was only at around three hundred-and fifty, and Fox knew from the manifest and security layouts that there were many rooms still empty, which was probably the reason the Guard had such nice accommodations as well. There was no reason to build rooms on a ship that small that weren’t still refined, even if they weren’t as luxurious as the high-end rooms.
The size of the ship also made Fox’s job a lot easier. There were less places for anything to be hiding in, and the ship would be able to fly past many sensors that would immediately detect any larger vessels.
All of the passengers, the crew, the deck and all of his men were also constantly close by.
The shorter distances became very evident the moment Fox climbed the last flight of stairs. It had only taken him a few minutes to get to the upper floor, and the relative silence that had been present around the Guard’s quarters was now replaced with a cacophony of noises. Fox had learned very quickly after starting at his posting that Senators and other rich people tended to be very, very loud almost all of the time.
There was a group of people standing in the corridor as he got to the top of the stairs. Mostly members of different securities, Fox noted, though he saw a few Senators among them as well, including-
Senator Organa noticed him before Fox had even taken two steps towards them.
“Commander”, he called, and raised his hand. He was smiling again, that warm, soft smile that did very strange things to Fox’s pulse every single time.
Fox was very glad about his helmet.
He drew in a breath.
“Senator”, he greeted back, once he had gotten to the group. Senator Organa had been standing relatively close to the edge of it, and he had pushed his way through the rest while Fox had made his way to them. He had changed to a different set of clothes, and was now wearing a dark blue suit, with a dress cape that was a few shades lighter. He looked good in dark blue, as always. “I hope you’ve enjoyed your stay so far.”
“Well, I’ve just been sitting in my rooms and trying to sort out all the work I’m going to miss”, Senator Organa laughed a bit. He had a nice laugh. It was soft for a man his stature, just like his smiles were. “Apart from that, I have had no complaints.”
That was what Fox should’ve also been doing, instead of just laying around.
“I hope that you’ll be able to enjoy your time away from the Senate, still”, Fox said. “Even though I know that travelling during times like these is hardly stress-free.”
“Oh, do not worry about that at all, Commander”, Senator Organa said. “I’ve been at the front lines multiple times by now, and gone for other, much more pressing missions than this. This is less work than I’ve had to do in a while. I just hope that all of this is not increasing your workload, or the Guards, for that matter.”
Well, it was, since the mission was taking Fox and a good amount of men away from Coruscant, when they were already down on numbers.
Fox wasn’t going to say that.
“I cannot take my desk or the planet with me”, he said, instead. “So that means that most of my work is not here at the moment.”
“Oh, that’s good”, Senator Organa said. “Then I hope you’ll be able to enjoy your time, and have a little break.”
“I’ll try my best.” As long as all the Separatists stayed away and everyone on board behaved themselves, he perhaps could continue to take it easier. Not that Fox was going to say that to him, either.
“I’m sure you will”, Senator Organa smiled. “My wife was thankful that you are travelling with us. She gets worried over these missions more than I do. She sends her regards to you and the rest of the Guard.”
Fox understood the Queen’s worry. He really did.
He worried every single second of his life about all of his brothers, after all.
“Send her our thanks as well”, he said.
“I will”, Senator Organa nodded. He then looked at his comlink. “I’m afraid I have to take my leave now. I’m seated in the main hall. Captain Terrent will be joining you for dinner with the Captain tonight.”
He gestured towards the Captain of the Royal Guard, standing a step behind him. Fox had seen her before, as she was on rotation in the Royal Guard on Coruscant.
Fox tilted his head.
“I was under the impression that the Captain of the ship dines with the guests”, he said. That’s how it had been on other missions, according to Thorn, Stone and Thire.
“As I’ve understood, Captain Delesi has the habit of dining with the heads of the security on the first night”, Senator Organa explained. “I came to see Captain Terrent off, as I hoped I would catch you for a moment as well. Have a good night, Commander.”
Fox blinked, two confused thoughts crossing inside of his head. First, he had not thought that he would’ve been invited to the dinner as a guest, and not to act as the security.
Second, he had hoped to…see Fox?
No, Fox had clearly either hallucinated that one, or he was sorely misunderstanding it.
Definitely either one of those.
“Same to you, Senator”, Fox said, his throat suddenly very dry again. Senator Organa smiled one last time, before he turned around, said something to Captain Terrent, and then made his way through the corridor and disappeared around the corner.
A door to Fox’ left opened, and a droid appeared through it, telling them to step in, as the Captain was waiting.
Captain Terrent stepped closer.
“Shall we, Commander?” She asked.
Fox swallowed. It helped only a little.
“Yes,” he answered, and followed the droid through the doors, Captain Terrent on his side.
Captain Delesi was waiting for them, a few steps away from the door.
“Welcome, welcome”, he smiled brightly. “It’s good to see that you could all make it. Oh, Commander! You can take off your helmet, you’re not on duty right now.”
Fox wanted to say that he was always on duty, but held his tongue. Instead, he prayed to Manda that his hair was not already messed up, and lifted the helmet off.
If his hair was a mess, no one said anything. Captain Delesi, at the very least, just continued smiling.
“You can leave it over there”, he said, gesturing at the little table tucked against the wall of the room. Fox didn’t really like the thought of having it away from his immediate reach, but it wasn’t like he could just put it in the middle of the main table either.
The helmet looked out of place there as Fox put it down. It felt like he had taken off his second head and put it off to the side, as usually everyone only saw it and not his actual face behind it.
Captain Terrent was smiling at him encouragingly as Fox turned back towards the dinner table.
“You look fine”, she whispered when Fox stopped next to her. She pulled a chair out. “Here.”
Fox was pretty sure that giving someone a chair was a thing nat-borns did as a courtesy to other nat-borns, especially to those who were higher up than them.
Fox might’ve been a Commander, but he was still a clone.
Still, he was also very sure that if he said something, it would only cause a scene.
“Thank you”, he whispered back, instead of saying anything else, and sat down. Captain Terrent smiled a little wider, and took a seat next to him. She drew her chair a little closer to Fox’s, even though there was plenty of room between her and the next chair over.
Fox knew the etiquette, even though he had never had any proper education. He had just been around so many dinners and events by now, that he knew what to do and what not. At least for the most part. He couldn’t remember if there had been any rules about moving your chairs.
Maybe not, because no one else seemed to notice.
The droid brought them drinks as Captain Delesi sat down. It was some sort of light, sweet-smelling alcohol. Fox didn’t remember the last time he had drank anything stronger than caf. He couldn’t really afford to. He was always on duty and needed to be sober.
At least his brothers always had someone to take them safely back to the barracks whenever they were visiting.
Captain Delesi cleared his throat.
“First, I want to welcome you all again on board of the Aureliolus” , he said. “And I want to thank all of you for taking this mission. Times are not easy, and there are a lot more dangers on our way than ever before. We need to all work together to ensure the safety of everyone on board.”
He looked around the table briefly.
“Before we get to the fun part of the dinner, I wanted to remind you of the chain of command on this ship”, he said. “You are all, of course, responsible for your own people, but in the case of an emergency, your first reference should either be me, or Commander Fox of the Coruscant Guard. Because of the ongoing war, this mission is now a military operation, and both mine and the Commander’s word weigh as much. If we’re not available, please refer to any member of the crew or the Coruscant Guard on board. Thank you.”
There were eyes on him. Fox didn’t look back at any of them.
The Captain’s smile had slipped a bit as he spoke, but it appeared back on his face in one second as he had finished his words.
“Now, since the official stuff is out of the way, let’s enjoy our evening”, he said, sitting down on his chair. “A little break away from our duties.”
Not for everyone, Fox though, but he kept his mouth shut.
There was light chatter as some foods were brought out. Fox had no idea what any of it was, so he tried to watch Captain Terrent from the corner of his eye. She was grabbing one of the small forks, so Fox followed suit.
“Commander”, Captain Delesi called, just as Fox had picked the fork up. The Captain was still smiling pleasantly as Fox turned to look at him. “I’m glad that you could join us tonight. I’m sure you have a lot of work to do, since this mission has called you away from Coruscant.”
Small-talk. That, Fox could do.
“Thank you for the invitation”, he said. “I am able to fully focus on the mission, as the rest of my Commanders back on Coruscant are taking over my duties. I have the privilege of working with some of the most accomplished soldiers there are in the Grand Army.”
He really was. He was proud of the Guard, and how hard they all worked.
“Yes, I have heard many good things about the Guard”, Delesi said. That Fox doubted a bit. Many had heard about them being effective and intense, but few considered those good things.
Then again, Captain Delesi had invited Fox for dinner. Maybe the man had his own standards.
“I hope you and your men are enjoying your accommodations”, Captain Delesi continued. He then glanced at Captain Terrent. “I assume that you are acquaintances with the Alderaanian delegation? Senator Organa insisted on giving you some refreshments for the journey and taking care of any expenses there might be personally.”
His expression and tone was still mostly friendly, but Fox couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being interrogated for some reason. There were definitely eyes on him again, watching, assessing.
Fox swallowed, carefully. Why was he asking? He hadn’t known Senator Organa had done such a thing. Fox didn’t even understand why. It was a different thing to give Fox a cup of caf every now and then, and paying for all of them for something.
It was a nice thing to do, a thing that made Fox’s stomach curl on itself in a way that was somehow pleasant , but one that he still didn’t understand.
He swallowed again. It was hot in the dining room.
“We’ve interacted before”, he ended up answering, not knowing what else to say. “Senator Organa has been friendly towards the Guard, which has been greatly appreciated.”
Captain Terrent lowered her fork.
“The Alderaanian delegation acknowledges the work the Coruscant Guard does, and especially how hard and dangerous it can be”, she said. “The Queen and the Senator want to show their appreciation for all of that. The Royal Guard shares this sentiment. There have been many instances where we would’ve suffered significantly, if not for the members of the Guard.”
She looked Captain Delesi in the eyes. The room had gone quiet.
Fox still felt like he was being evaluated.
Captain Delesi nodded, slowly.
“I understand”, he said. “More people should appreciate the Guard and the rest of the Army, for what they are doing for the Republic.”
For some reason, Fox got the feeling that despite his words, he was talking about something entirely else.
Captain Delesi shot Fox one last look and one last smile, before he went back to his food. Captain Terrent nudged Fox carefully under the edge of the table.
“It’s good”, she whispered, nodding towards Fox’s plate.
Not knowing what else to do, Fox picked up his fork again, his stomach still making happy, confusing flips.
— — —
He didn’t have to really talk during the rest of the dinner.
Captain Terrent had held most of the conversation, giving Fox the opportunity to focus on eating for the rest of the night. That had been a luxury in itself. Fox rarely had the time to focus on even drinking his caf, and most of his meals were taken at his desk or on the run, as he would shovel a ration bar into his mouth while he was on his way to a next shift.
Not many others had said anything to him during the dinner, keeping their distance, but it had not bothered Fox in the slightest. He was not used to speaking with people who weren’t his brothers without his helmet. He would’ve probably exploded if he’d had to hold more than one conversation.
It was stupid, Fox knew that. He should’ve been able to handle the whole room shouting insults at him without a single flinch.
Captain Terrent seemed to have taken Senator Organa’s words of ‘joining Fox to dinner’ to heart, as she waited for Fox to get up after the meal was done, and proceeded to walk with him out of the dining room, steering him clear of everyone else leaving the room as well. Was this just how all Alderaanians were? Fox hoped so, because that would mean that there was at least one place in the universe where his brothers would be treated with kindness-
Remind and Ivy were standing in the corridor outside the dining room.
Fox stopped in his tracks, his mind already jumping to ten different directions. Had something happened? On Coruscant or somewhere else? How bad was it? Why had they not called him immediately?
“Major, Lieutenant”, Fox called. “What is it?”
“Commander”, Remind greeted, taking a step forward, with Ivy quickly following him. “We wanted to walk you back to our quarters.”
Fox had already looked confused for a couple of seconds before he remembered that he didn’t have his helmet on.
“Hardly necessary”, he said, schooling his expression back to more neutral one. “The quarters are five minutes walking distance away.”
Had they really been standing in the corridor, just outside the door, just waiting for him? It wasn’t unusual for them to do so on Coruscant, as it was generally unwise for a clone to be alone on the planet, but they were on a ship that was so small that Fox could’ve ran its whole length in less than a ten.
Remind almost shrugged, but aborted the gesture halfway through.
“Protocol”, he said, simply, like Fox didn’t already know every line of every piece of protocol that existed.
An officer in the Atrisian uniform walked around Fox and Captain Terrent, and in a blink, Remind had suddenly moved the rest of the way across the corridor, and planted himself firmly at Fox’s elbow, forcing the officer to dodge even further away to get around. He scowled at Remind, and then glared at Fox, and Fox had already glared back at him before he remembered that he still didn’t have his helmet on.
Great.
“Let’s go”, Fox said, leveling a look at both Remind and Ivy, before turning to Captain Terrent. “Thank you for your company, Captain. I hope you have a pleasant rest of your night.”
She smiled at him.
“Have a good night yourself”, she said. “Feel free to come talk to us at any point. Good night, Commander. Major and Lieutenant, too.”
Remind and Ivy seemed to relax at least some at her words.
“Good night”, Remind said, more friendly than Fox had heard him sounding during the entire day. He still watched her every move, until she had stepped away from them.
Ivy proceeded to take the place she had left on Fox’s other side without a word. He lightly knocked his vambrace against Fox’s, and Fox found it hard to be actually annoyed at either of them anymore.
“Just watch where you’re going, alright?” He murmured to Remind.
“Yes, Sir.” Remind had at least the thought to sound a bit chastised. They still followed Fox closely as he began to make his way towards their quarters. Remind leaned even closer as they got to the stairs. “Did they feed you?”
He sounded almost worried as he asked that.
“Yes, they did feed me”, Fox answered. “I’ll be eating with you from now on. Did you get food?”
“We did!” Ivy answered. “It was so good!”
Fox couldn’t help but smile. It always felt good to see his brothers happy, no matter what it was about.
He briefly wondered if Senator Organa had paid for them to have actual food as well, but it was unlikely. Senator Organa had not even known he would be on the mission until just before launching, after all.
Still. It was good to know that for once, things wouldn’t be taken out of their skins if something happened.
By the time they had made it back to their quarters, and Fox had taken off his armor, he had almost forgotten whatever it was that had happened over the dinner. His stomach was full for once, the beds they had were actually comfortable, and he was surrounded by his brothers. There was something calming about it, just listening to them talk.
He picked up his datapad and crawled into his bed to do some work.
There was a message from Thorn.
> Things are going fine on our end! No casualties today, and the Chancellor was less of a dried old prune than usual. Stone is doing a lot better. He told me to say hi to you. Do me a favor and take it easy while you’re not being attacked by droids or pirates? I want you to come back better and not worse.
Fox rolled his eyes.
> I will not give into any demands made by losers. Say hi to Stone for me.
It was very warm in the bed. Fox rolled up his sleeves before he got to work, letting the voices of his brothers lull him into a nice, calm focus.
— — —
It was hot.
It was too hot. Fox was boiling alive. His skin was burning. There were flames licking at his arm, and he kicked his covers off and scratched at it, until it felt like it was bleeding molten lava.
There was a sound of movement, and Fox cracked his eyes open. The room was dark, as the ship's night cycle was still ongoing.
Poem was standing in front of Fox’s bed, rubbing his eyes blearily. He was not supposed to even be on off-planet missions anymore, but Fox had had no choice, he’d needed anyone who was available-
Poem blinked at him, and then gathered Fox’s covers and threw them around his shoulders, before climbing onto Fox’s bed and bundling him in as well.
His skin was cooler against Fox’s, but still warm. Some of the burning settled, so much so that Fox could ignore the way his skin still itched where he had been scratching.
Poem fell back asleep almost immediately after laying back down, and after listening to his breathing and the other noises of his brothers in the room for a few more minutes, Fox followed.
— — —
Fox woke up hot and sweaty, with something weighing him down.
The lights were on as he opened his eyes, but were being dimmed by the mountain of blankets that had been piled on top of him, with some of them having slipped partially in front of his face.
He was so hot.
Fox sputtered, and pushed and kicked the blankets off of him, just so he could sit up.
“Good morning, Commander!” Hollie called from somewhere in the room. “Your breakfast is waiting on the table!”
“What?” Fox mumbled, pushing his hair back from his forehead. “What time is it?”
“A little over seven”, Hollie answered easily, while Fox’s pulse jumped all the way to his cranium.
“And do tell, Captain”, Fox gritted out, “why wasn’t I woken up at the beginning of the morning shift?”
The room fell silent. Every single pair of eyes in there was looking everywhere else than towards Fox, including Hollie’s, who was staring at the wall just past Fox.
Fox crossed his arms.
“Captain”, he called again.
“Major Remind said it was okay”, Hollie blurted out, making Remind jump.
“Wha- why are you blaming me?!” Remind asked, his eyes darting wildly between Hollie and Fox's general direction.
“You’re the highest ranking vod in here after him! You could’ve woken him up!”
“I thought we all agreed that-”
The headache was definitely worse than yesterday, hammering inside Fox’s skull in the rhythm of his irritated pulse.
“Did Thorn put you up to this?” He asked, cutting the starting argument short.
Hollie looked at him like Fox had spoken in a different language.
“Uh, put us up to what?” He asked. “Sir?”
Fox knew that he was not that good of a liar.
“Alright”, he sighed, rubbing his temple. “So all of you just independently decided that I really needed to take a break, and decided on your own to enforce it?”
“Well, we”, Remind started, looking a little lost now for some reason, “We thought that you…felt like you needed it?”
“Right.” Fox shook his head. “I severely hope that nothing has come up while I was over here sleeping.”
“Well”, Saga piped up. “The Captain did message you a little while ago-”
Oh, great. Fox jumped up, fully intending to dart towards his armor, when he suddenly felt like all muscles in his body had turned into warm mush, and he stumbled and would’ve simply collapsed onto the floor, if Saga and Poem had both not jumped up as well and managed to grab him by the arms.
“Are you alright?” Saga asked. Fox tried to answer him with his suddenly sand-dry mouth and throat. “Pinch!”
Pinch was very quickly in front of Fox.
“Commander?” He patted Fox lightly on his face. “Are you alright?”
Fox managed to get some feeling back to his right arm, and he pried it off of Poem’s hold to wave at them all.
“I’m fine”, he said. “I think I just got up too quickly.”
Pinch looked like he didn’t believe Fox at all, but Fox was already feeling a lot more like a person with bones and all of that, instead of just like a heaping pile of warm sludge.
He pried his other arm away from Saga, and pushed himself back up straight. There was a weird sense of prickling all over his body, but it was probably because of some sort of numbness.
He was fine.
Fox had no idea why he was suddenly scared about any other option. It was like some part of him was all of a sudden back on Kamino, looking up at a long-neck that was so much taller than him in his little body, and listening to them tell him over and over again how much worse he was than his brothers-
But he wasn’t. He was on a ship, far, far away from Kamino, surrounded by his brothers. He wasn’t so small anymore, either, standing just as tall as the rest of them, standing with all of his accomplishments for everyone to see. He was the Commander of the Guard, one of the highest decorated officers in the whole GAR.
He was fine.
Fox ignored the concerned looks, ignored the headache and his stuttering heart, ignored the prickling of his skin and how it was stretched over his body like a hot, dry film.
He gave everyone in the room a look.
“I’m going to see what the Captain wants”, he said, keeping his voice as commanding as possible. “Stay here unless I tell you otherwise.”
Remind took a step closer.
“Sir-” he started, looking and sounding uncomfortable, like not following Fox to the ends of the universe was the worst thing he had ever been told to do.
“You heard what I said”, Fox said. He grabbed his boots. “ Stay here. ”
They all watched him, silent as graves, as Fox put on his armor and pulled his helmet over his head.
Fox didn’t look at any of them as he made his way out of the room, his heart beating like he was being chased by invisible, long, cold hands of failure.
— — —
Seventeen had held his hand the whole way back from the medical bay.
“They did this on purpose”, he had muttered under his breath.
Fox’s eyes had burned from already dried-up tears, and his arm had throbbed from the needle that had been pushed in it over and over again.
“I’m sorry”, he had choked, the words of the doctor still ringing in his ears.
Seventeen had squeezed his hand a bit harder.
“You just need to be better”, he had said. “Better than all of them.”
Fox had rubbed his eyes with his hurting arm and nodded.
There had been nothing else he could’ve done, anyway.
— — —
Captain Delesi kept his distance.
He stood firmly on the opposite side of the command table as he explained the details of their arrival to Malina’an, what they needed to do when jumping out from hyperspace for the rest of the way, how that would affect their travelling time and what to expect on the last stretch of the journey.
Fox listened to it all, focusing with everything he got onto every single word, as it was the only way to keep his thoughts from straying to how his heart was now pumping boiling blood inside his veins that felt ready to burst, and of how he would feel like he was all but three years old again because of it.
Fox had hoped that his armor was enough to mask his heavy breathing and heavy heart, but Captain Delesi still looked at him for a long moment once he had finished his briefing.
“Are you feeling alright, Commander?” He asked. He sounded friendly, still, but there was a slight crease between his brows.
“I’m fine, Captain”, Fox answered. It was an adult voice he spoke with, not a high-pitched voice of a child.
“Of course”, Captain Delesi said. “Your Captains did not accompany you today, would you like to call them in as well?”
“I’ll brief them and the Major myself, thank you”, Fox said.
If Captain Delesi was not convinced of anything Fox was saying, he did not show it.
“Of course”, he said again. “Please contact me if you have any questions.”
He walked Fox to the door of the deck, keeping a good distance between them.
Fox’s eyes were burning by the time he got out. He told himself it was because of the headache behind his right eye.
— — —
Thorn had just made it back from another mission.
It had been a rather easy one, thankfully. Just escorting a few Senators to an event, where they were attempting to gain some political support of a couple of systems. No battles, no nothing.
“How did it go?” Fox had asked, still, as they had made their way away from the platform.
Thorn had thrown his head back and groaned.
“Would’ve been fine”, he had said, “if Senator Tower had not suddenly ran out of her blockers in the middle of the trip, and if her aide had not forgotten to pack the replacements. She freaked out, and locked herself into her room and screamed every time anyone tried to talk to her. I would get all of that if she was in heat or something, but she wasn’t.”
“You’re telling me that there were absolutely no blockers anywhere on that ship?” Fox had asked.
“Apparently not”, Thorn had said. “At least not the ones Senator Tower uses. As far as I understood it, you cannot just start taking different type of blockers all of a sudden or you’re going to have an aneurysm or something like that. I don’t know, do not ask for details.”
“I’m not going to”, Fox had said. “Believe it or not, you’ve already given too many details.”
Thorn had laughed, and had not seen Fox absent-mindedly scratch at his arm.
— — —
It was so hot.
Fox felt like he had not drank anything in a week. Still, there was somehow enough water in his body to make him drenched with sweat.
Perhaps he should’ve eaten some breakfast before leaving.
The mere thought of food was making him nauseous now, though.
His right eye felt like it was being pulled back. Fox stopped, and rested his head on his hand, in an attempt to take some weight off of it somehow.
How was this happening? Fox had no idea. He didn’t even have to take blockers, as the Kaminoans had taken care of that years ago. They could not count on the Republic to fund such medications, after all, so they needed to make sure that Fox would never need them anyway.
So how was this happening?
No, no, it wasn’t happening. It simply wasn’t. Not ever, and especially not right now, when Fox was for once in his life not on Coruscant and not where Index and the Guard’s medbay was. It was simply not happening .
Fox drew in a deep breath, and lifted his head up. It was not happening, simply as that. It was not happening. He was fine.
There were footsteps, crossing the corridor behind him with heavy stomps on the carpeted floor. They sounded like they passed by him once already, but then turned back.
“You! Clone!” Fox tried his hardest not to bristle. It was just a Senator. One single Senator. He had done this so, so many times before.
“Yes, Senator Tarpa?” He asked, managing to sound as calm and collected as usual as he turned around to face the man. Fox had dealt with him personally before. Senator Tarpa had started his term just as the war had started, and in Fox’s opinion, was proving entirely unequipped to handle it. He didn’t take well to stress, which the war caused a lot of, and was quick to turn his ire against anyone that was around him, and cope with it all with sometimes an excessive amount of alcohol. Fox had no idea how he had yet been kicked out from his position, though perhaps he had managed not to be drunk during any official business yet.
He was definitely at least somewhat drunk right now, with how his already reddish skin was even redder than usual, which Fox had noted happened every time he drank. It was fine. Fox could deal with it. Senator Tarpa was bigger than he was, but Fox was more than sure that he didn’t have any sort of combat training, if it came to restraining him for a moment, no matter how much Fox currently didn’t feel like doing anything too exertive.
It didn’t matter. Fox was always on duty. No matter what came up before him, he would have to deal with it.
Senator Tarpa stomped closer, his dark eyes nailed on Fox.
“A droid malfunctioned in my room”, he said. “It spilled my drinks all over the floor and my possessions. I want it fixed now and the room cleaned.”
Fox had no idea how the man had even made it as a Senator. It had to be because of connections.
“With all due respect, Senator”, Fox said. He really, really did not feel like dealing with any of this today. His head was starting to kill him.“I am not responsible for anything that belongs to the ship. If you want someone to deal with all of that, you need to find a crewmember.”
He realised his mistake the moment he had stopped talking. Senator Tarpa was already agitated and drunk. Fox should’ve just said yes to whatever he was demanding, and then slip away the moment he got the opportunity to do so.
It was too late, now. Senator Tarpa turned even more red, and surged towards Fox, driving him against the wall of the corridor as he stepped back.
“You are a clone ”, Senator Tarpa hissed, his face mere inches away from Fox’s visor. “You are barely above a droid. The only thing that is different between you and them is the fact that you are made of flesh instead of bolts. You are not real. So when I tell you to do something, you’re going to be a good little meat-droid and do it!”
Fox was sure that there was spit on his visor now.
He should say yes. He should just say yes, to get Tarpa to back off, so he could get away.
His heart was beating so fast that Fox could feel it. There was a feeling there, suddenly, that Fox had stopped feeling a long time ago in situations like this, that made his pulse quicken the pace.
Fox had never before been intimidated by Senator Tarpa, but now, right there on the ship’s corridor, he suddenly felt too small compared to the man.
No, no. Fox grit his teeth, hard. Get yourself together! You are not a weak, pathetic, useless little-
Senator Tarpa stopped, his mouth still open. He looked at Fox for a few, oppressive seconds, before there was something in his eyes.
Some very twisted form of recognition.
No, no, no.
Senator Tarpa leaned closer. Fox leaned back instinctually, some primitive part of his mind rapidly starting to take over.
“Really?” Tarpa said. “They really let you be a Commander?”
He suddenly seemed a lot more sober than he had been just a moment ago, and Fox realised that he had never been very drunk to begin with, and had only been using Fox to let out his anger until now.
Now, though, now he had something entirely different in his mind, and Fox was quickly realising what it was.
Fox willed his voice to be calm, despite his stumbling heart.
“Step away, Senator”, he said, channeling every bit of detestation he had for the man into his words. “Step away, now. ”
Senator Tarpa just laughed, right at Fox’s face. It was a high sound, like he was excited about the situation, about the position he was in.
“Or what?” He barked out, still laughing. “Or what, clone? What are you going to do? You cannot do anything to me.”
He pushed himself closer. His chest was now pushing against Fox’s chestplate, and Fox-
Fox froze.
He didn’t mean to do it. He wanted to scream, to knock the bastard right on the head, so hard that it would break his nose and shatter all the other bones in his face as well. He wanted to kick him so hard there would be no way he would ever be walking again. He wanted to twist his arms and crush his hands under his boots so that he couldn’t even grab a pen anymore-
He did none of those things.
Instead, Fox stood there, his back against the wall and another body pressing against him, trapping him where he was, and he was terrified.
He had been threatened before. With knives, with blasters, with every type of weapon there existed on Coruscant. He had been threatened with violence, with death, with torture, everything.
Fox knew how to handle all of that, without missing a single beat.
He had never before-
There was a hand on his neck, fingers closing in, digging into the flesh of his throat. There was a voice, right at the side of his head.
“I had thought that they would’ve cut everything out”, Tarpa said. He sounded gleeful. “I hadn’t realised that they kept you intact.”
Fox’s eyes were burning. It was not because of the headache.
Tarpa yelped. The fingers pressing into Fox’s throat were suddenly ripped away, and the weight pressing against him disappeared.
Fox opened his eyes. He had no idea when he had closed them.
There was someone standing in front of him, still, blocking the rest of the corridor from him, but it was not Senator Tarpa.
“Get away from him”, the body in front of him said. The voice was so hard and so cold, that it took Fox a moment to register who it was.
“How dare you!” Senator Tarpa howled, somewhere on the other side of the body. “You haven’t made any claims, you have no right to-”
“ I have. Everyone on this ship knows it. The Captain knows it. You can even ask your own security. They know it. We both know how this goes. I have every right to do this.”
There was a moment of silence, broken only by heavy breathing. Fox realised a little belatedly that it was his own breathing, echoing inside his helmet.
The body in front of him didn’t move, continuing to shield him from everything that was happening on the other side.
Then there were words spat in a language he did not understand, and heavy steps hastily retreating. Fox saw Senator Tarpa’s back retreating down the corridor from the corner of his eye.
There was another moment of silence, and then the body in front of him moved.
Senator Organa turned around, and immediately took a step back.
“Commander?” He asked, his voice soft and careful as he spoke. He sounded like himself again. “Are you alright? Do you need to call your men?”
Fox’s eyes were burning as his body finally broke free from the frozen state he had fallen into, and all the shame came rushing into him all at once.
He surged away from the wall. Senator Organa backed away so fast that he almost hit the opposite wall.
“Commander?” He asked again, his hands up and hovering, like he wanted to do something but wouldn’t dare to touch Fox until there was some sort of permission given.
Fox didn’t answer him. His eyes were burning, his head hurt, his heart was jumping up and down, and he was so ashamed of himself, for being such a stupid and pathetic-
There was something burning surging up his throat, and Fox ripped off his helmet and threw up on the carpet, barely missing Senator Organa’s shoes.
“Alright”, Fox heard him say, still softly, as he coughed the rest of the bile up. “Alright. It’s alright. I’ll make a call. My rooms are a lot closer, if that’s alright with you?”
There was a hand, stretched out in front of Fox. Fox looked at the hand, and then up the concerned, kind eyes of Senator Organa looking at him.
Fox wanted nothing more than to hide away and never show himself in front of anyone ever again.
Senator Organa waited, patiently, not moving an inch. His hand was still stretched out, offered for Fox to take.
Fox shouldn’t have. He was on duty. It was too far. Way too far.
He shouldn’t-
Senator Organa didn’t move, just waited, looking at Fox with kind eyes, somehow still standing as a shield, even though he was on the other side of the corridor.
Fox swallowed. He raised his trembling hand, and took the hand in front of him.
Senator Organa smiled, warm and almost relieved.
“There we go”, he said, gently pulling Fox properly back on his feet. “Let’s get out of this corridor. I’ll make a call for your men, and we’ll get you something to drink. Alright?”
Fox swallowed again, trying in vain to take some of the shame down with it.
“Okay”, he managed to say.
Senator Organa just smiled at him, and seemed not to pay any attention to the pathetic mess Fox currently was, even though Fox was right in front of him. Instead, he just lightly tugged at Fox’s hand, beginning to walk away, still holding on to Fox.
His hand was bigger than Fox’s, his hold somehow both careful and firm.
It was warm.
Fox’s eyes were burning as he followed Senator Organa away from the corridor.
